A Life of Pouring Also Requires A life Of Refilling
I spent the last year and a half in hustle mode, working 2 jobs often for weeks in a row without much of a break.
It started to hit me a month or so ago, just how unsustainable it was.
With a 2 week unpaid Christmas shutdown approaching at one of my jobs, I started to pick up more shifts at the other to try and offset it (life’s expensive) - this decision led to working 60+ hour weeks for about six weeks - finishing my 9-5 and heading straight into a 5-11pm shift, day after day. I had financial security, sure, but I had nothing in the tank as a result. Still, I kept giving and giving.
When the shutdown finally happened, I didn’t stop. I kept pushing, working 35 hour weeks at job no. 2, rotating between day and night shifts barely able to hold it together.
My manager casually remarked ‘you must be enjoying your break’ I scoffed. ‘What break? It’s not as if I’m not working.’ I felt defensive, as if my exhaustion was somehow his fault. But deep down, I knew - this was all me.
On top of the 2 jobs and trying to be present for my loved ones, I also decided to take on a body building prep. Why not prove to myself that I could do it all - I was tough, I was capable, I could create balance in the chaos. The reality was I wasn’t balancing anything. I was running on fumes, barely getting through the days, and eventually, I hit a breaking point.
I had spent so long pouring into everything and everyone else that I had nothing left for myself. Any time I wasn’t working, was spent trying to unsuccessfully catch up on sleep or cramming everything else in. I wasn’t really living - I was surviving.
And the thing is, I know I’m not alone in this.
The Beauty & Burden of Pouring
In an world that glorifies productivity and the hustle, it's easy to fall into the trap of constantly pouring - giving out time, energy, and love to others, our work and the responsibilities that fill our days. We pour into friendships, relationships, projects, businesses, side hustles and commitments, often without realizing how much we're depleting ourselves in the process. We tell ourselves that we should keep going, that slowing down means falling behind. The rhetoric that’s currently on the internet only confirms this.
Pouring into others is beautiful - it's how we show up for the people we love, how we make an impact, and how we contribute to the world. Whether it's in our careers, relationships or passions, the act of giving is deeply fulfilling. But when we continuously give without taking the time to replenish our own cup and pour back into ourselves, we can easily begin to feel the weight of exhaustion, resentment and even burnout.
But what happens when we never stop to refill?
Just like a cup that is poured out without being refilled, we too, will eventually run dry. And run dry I did.
The Art of Refilling
What does it mean to refill your cup? It sounds simple yet we often forget how easy it is.
Refilling your own cup means prioritising and doing things that nourish you - mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It will look different for everyone, but at its core, refilling is about reconnecting with yourself and the things that bring you peace, joy and restoration.
Some ways to refill may be:
Spending time outdoors - a walk in fresh air, a swim in the ocean or a wild river or simply taking a moment of time to feel the sun on your skin.
Rest and solitude - Allowing yourself to slow down or say no without guilt, gifting yourself a cheeky nap or simply doing nothing and allowing yourself to recharge.
Creativity and play - Doing something for the sake of joy & pleasure - painting, drawing, writing, reading, cooking, dancing or anything that makes your soul feel alive.
Meaningful connection - Spending time with people who pour back into you, who inspire and uplift you rather than drain you.
Listening to your body - Nourishing yourself with good food, movement and giving it the rest it's asking for instead of forcing it to keep pushing.
Finding Balance in Giving & Receiving
After hitting the wall and finally admitting that I was on empty, I knew something had to change. If I kept going as I was, I’d burn out completely & worse, I’d start to resent everything.
So, I made hard but necessary choices: I enforced boundaries with picking up extra shifts at the second job, I said no if I didn’t have the energy to show up or if I simply didn’t want to and I pulled out of the prep.
I no longer wanted force, I needed flow. And the only way to find flow was to create space for it.
A well-lived life is not one of endless giving at the expense of yourself, but one of balance - of pouring and refilling, of giving and receiving. The most healthy and most sustainable generosity comes from a place of abundance, not depletion.
As soon as I made the space for rest, abundance returned with ease. I started laughing more, feeling lighter, enjoying simple moments and finally enjoying the spaciousness I hadn’t felt in a long time. Life no longer felt like something I had to get through - it felt like something I could fully be in.
If you've been feeling stretched thin, take a moment to ask yourself:
When was the last time I truly refilled? When did I last do something that was just for me.
If you don't remember, maybe it's time to shift your focus inward, not as an act of selfishness, but as an act of self-love and self-preservation.
When you take care of yourself, you show up better for others.
